Yesterday was a Bad day...Horrible day...Terrible day...
Sometimes I think...I should have just gone for qiu's bdae bbq...though I will have to end up being her mum's helper...I guess, things would not have been so bad...
Fate...is an interesting thing...If I had made more direct hints perhaps or even just bloody let her know much earlier...things could have been different...Oh well...Perhaps I am just fated to be her friend...her best friend...and nothing more than that...
Should I continue waiting??? but...If I wait...will it mean that I am hoping that they will break up in the end?? I cannot do such an evil thing...oh well...just take things naturally..maybe tomorrow, the girl of my life will just walk in and I will be glad that I had not taken that step...wahaha(prays hard...my criteria isn't that bad...She must be single, available...cute, pretty sexy and if she looks like cindy crawford that will be a plus..haha)
Yesterday...My heart broke into millions of piece...Everyone was pissed off at me...da ge's fren sent me home...interesting couple...their life is spiced by their digs at each other...interesting car ride...lolz...Then...took the wrong side of the mrt and ended up in city hall...last train somemore...luckily it wasn't the last carriage...cried again on the mrt...well...there was a plus though...this really pretty girl offered me a packet of tissue...got my bike, cycled and got knocked down...Flew off the bike, landed on my left hand and sprained my wrist further... It didn't hurt...It didn't hurt a bit...Probably because I suddenly lost all feelings. Reached home, bathed and ice packed my wrist...Well...this way, it would not swell...Punched the wall somemore...and finally felt better...then called da ge up to say sorry...
Tried to sleep after that but the more I tried to sleep, the more vexed I felt...Dang...the usual method of sleeping it off cannot be used this time...Sat up, saw the swiss army knife and suddenly felt tempted to attempt my mei's hobby...playing tic tac toe on her arm...Open the blade out and suddenly the scene of her cutting her wrist with a scissors played in my mind again...Just bringing the blade near my arm was so difficult I ended up dropping the blade on the floor...dang...another method failed...Feels like smoking again...dang...Guess tomolo I will go get a pack...Viceroy?? Texas 5?? oh well...
Today, talked to da ge...Made da ge promise to treat her well...Told da ge abt her fear of fuo pai, her habit of picking her finger till it bleeds, her different self in aikido, how at times she will get ji seow by things...Now I know how duan cheng feng felt when he told tai zhi everything he knows abt xiao xi...Oh well...As long as she is happy...I will be happy...
Onwards I will proceed...relationships I will go into...But I know no matter how many relationships I have, a corner of my heart is reserved for her...of course...and ping er jie jie...cause after all ping er jie jie is like a sister to me...heehee..Thanx ping er jie jie for listening to my rubbish yesterday...